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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “detached from reality”, he explains. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically coming after a “crash”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and ashamed about his actions, making him especially susceptible to negative feedback from those around him. He came to wonder he might have NPD after researching his symptoms online – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t independently formed that realization personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been called narcissists for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people conceal it, as there is widespread prejudice around the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through actions such as seeking admiration,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Although up to 75% of people identified as having the condition are men, findings indicates this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the covert form, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I either go into defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her partner “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding all this time the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because I never had that in my formative years,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my family members were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” notes an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his doctor, John was referred to a therapist for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions through national services (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: It was indicated it is expected around in a few months.”

John has only told a small circle about his condition, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he explains. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number