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When the story surfaced that a prominent couple had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a possible suspect, it brought addiction back into the public spotlight. However, parents affected by a loved one’s addiction are concerned the discussion will focus on an exceedingly rare act of homicide rather than the more widespread risks of the disease.

A Personal Connection

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been watching the news. They only knew the Reiners professionally, yet they identify deeply: their own son also developed a dependency at 15 to opioids and later illicit drugs, similar to Nick Reiner, and spent years in and out of rehabilitation and the legal system. After seven excruciating years, their son got sober in July 2010.

“It’s just tragic,” states Grover. “It rips your heart out, because that’s a family torn apart, just like so many other families we know whose loved ones didn’t survive the disease of addiction.”

The Scope of the Crisis

More than two-thirds of Americans report their lives have been touched by addiction—whether through their own use, a relative’s addiction, housing instability from addiction, or an drug-related emergency leading to hospitalization or death, according to 2023 data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or tens of millions of people, were living with a substance use disorder in 2024.

“This can happen to anybody, no matter how wealthy you are, no matter how disadvantaged you are, no matter how influential you are,” emphasized Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story resonated deeply with Greg, who leads a parent organization. “We talk a lot about how it’s a family disease,” Greg said. “It has a tremendous impact on others’ lives.”

However, he is concerned that the murders will make people “very wary of anybody who’s admitted to having an addiction, and think that they could become violent at any point in time. And that’s not true,” Greg added.

These “are really important conversations to have, since addiction is so widespread in the United States and the rates have continually increased,” stated an associate professor who studies addiction and criminal justice. She pointed to the significant social prejudice surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “idea of someone being really a threat and the potential for harming others.”

She also cautioned against making assumptions about the alleged role of the son or his condition at the time, noting it is not known whether drugs or mental health issues were involved recently.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their stigmatization of addiction and substance use disorder, and create a narrative to try to explain what happened,” she said. “Because of his history, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to erratic actions, and some substances may increase aggression, a violent crime like a murder of two people is highly unusual.

“The vast majority of people with addiction or this illness do not ever show anything remotely close to aggression. It’s a real rarity,” the expert explained. “The statistical truth is a person is significantly more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else.”

The Constant Anxiety

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not of their sons, but for them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to be lost at some point,” Greg said. “If he returns to using, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my biggest fear. And my other fear is just being estranged from him.” He described the painful decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “excruciating” choice that an adult child cannot live at home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you laid your head down, that you could get that call or that visit from authorities telling you that he was gone forever,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, 365 days a year, for a parent.”

He recounted the harrowing calls: from the hospital saying a son was unconscious; from jail, where a parent might justify behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he shoplifted to support his habit; at least he wasn’t breaking into the neighbors’ houses.’”

Isolation and Judgment

Parents often battle loneliness—wondering if the addiction stemmed from some mistake they made; bearing guilt for a child’s actions; and worrying about the stigma directed at both parent and child.

It is very difficult to understand a family’s ordeal without having been through it, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can shift instantly. You could be perfectly happy one day and in despair the next... It’s not uncommon for that to happen.”

The Path Forward

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are able to become sober.

“Just as you can recover from any other type of disease, you can overcome this condition, too. You can recover and be productive,” said Grover. “If you work at it and you stumble, you get up and work at it some more.”

Today, his son is a married with children, holds a university education, and works as a union electrician. Grover reflected on his struggle to “fix” his son, realizing it wasn’t possible.

“I can push him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t grasp my hand for help, it’s not going to succeed,” he said.

Yet, they always told him they cared for him and believed in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s supporting someone addicted to drugs: make sure your hand is always, always extended, because you never know when they’ll reach out and take it.”